Laughing Is Good for the Heart: Valentine’s Day Jokes


Laughing
Is Good for the Heart: Valentine’s Day Jokes

 

Here
are jokes to make others laugh. Add them to cards, tell them in school, tell
them at the dinner table…just tell them!

 

What did one light bulb say to the other?

I
love you a whole watt!

 

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?

Hog
and kisses!

 

Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear?

Because
the bear had many fine koala-ties!

 

What did one calculator say to the other?

“How
do I love thee? Let me count the ways!”

 

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?

I
find you very attractive.

 

What did the bat say to his girlfriend?

You’re
fun to hang around with.

 

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

I
love you a ton!

 

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?

He
fell in love with a pin cushion!

 

What did one pickle say to the other?

You
mean a great dill to me.

 

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Sure,
they’re very scent-imental!

 

Knock, Knock

Who’s
there?

Olive

Olive
who?

Olive you!

 

What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?

“I’ve
got a crutch on you!”

 

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel
on Valentine’s Day?

I’m
nuts about you!

 

What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel
on Valentine’s Day?

You’re
nuts so bad yourself!

 

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?

It
was a case of guppy love.

 

What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her
boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean?

One
is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.

 

If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?

Antelope.

 

Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?

No,
but they had an apple.

 

What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts!

 

Why do valentines have hearts on them?

Because
spleens would look pretty gross!

 

What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?

It
made him wed his plants!

 

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?

Ughs
and kisses!

 

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep
on Valentine’s Day?

I
Love Ewe!

 

What did the stamp say to the envelope
on Valentine’s Day?

I’m
stuck on you!

 

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day?

Rugs
and kisses!

 

What would you get if you crossed Cupid with a meat and
vegetable dish?

Stewpid!

 

Knock knock!

Who’s
there?

Frank

Frank
who?

Frank you for being my friend!

 

Knock knock!

Who’s
there?

Howard

Howard
who?

Howard you like a big kiss?

 

What do you call a very small Valentine’s?

A
Valentiny!

 

RESOURCES

Kids Jokes

Activity
Village

Lela Davidson’s
Hub Pages 

 

 

I
hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

Gail

 

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