Time to Laugh: St. Patrick’s Day Jokes


Time to Laugh: St. Patrick’s Day Jokes

 

Monday is St. Patrick’s Day. You have just enough time to try out these jokes on your family and friends!


What do you get if you cross
poison ivy with a four leaf clover?

A rash of good luck!

 

When does the leprechaun cross the
road?

When it’s green!

 

How do you know when an Irish
person is happy?

When they are Dublin over with
laughter!

 

Why can’t you borrow money from a
leprechaun?

Because they are always a little
short!

 

Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s
Day?

Because they’re always wearing
green.

 

Why would you never iron a
four-leaf clover?

Because you shouldn’t press your
luck.

 

When is an Irish potato not an
Irish potato?

When he’s a French fry.

 

What would you get if you crossed
Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?

St. O’Claus.

 

Why did St. Patrick drive all the
snakes out of Ireland?

Because he couldn’t afford
airfare.

 

What is left out on the lawn all
summer and is Irish?

Paddy O’Furniture.

 

Why did the leprechaun cross the
road?

He wanted to reach the pot of
gold faster.

 

Why do people wear shamrocks on
St. Patrick’s Day?

Real rocks are too heavy!

 

Why can’t you iron a four-leaf
clover?

Because you shouldn’t press your
luck!

 

What do you call a fake stone in
Ireland?

A sham-rock!

 

What type of bow cannot be tied?

A rain-bow!

 

Where can you always find gold?

In the dictionary!

 

Why did the elephant wear green
sneakers?

Her red ones were in the wash!

 

What happens when a leprechaun
falls into a river?

He gets wet!

 

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Irish!

Irish Who?

Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s
Day.

 

Why do people wear shamrocks on
St. Patrick’s Day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

 

What would you get if you crossed
Quasimodo with an Irish football player?

The Halfback of Notre Dame!

 

What does it mean when you find a
horseshoe?

Some poor horse is going
barefoot!

 

What do leprechauns love to
barbecue?

Short ribs!

 

How did the leprechaun beat the
Irishman to the pot of gold?

He took a shortcut!

 

What does a leprechaun call a
happy man wearing green?

A Jolly Green Giant

 

Why are leprechauns so hard to get
along with?

Because they’re very
short-tempered!

 

Why do leprechauns hide behind
4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers?

They need all the luck they can
get!

 

What type of bow cannot be tied?

A rainbow.

 

Why did St. Patrick drive the
snakes out of Ireland?

Because it was too far for them
to crawl.

 

What do you call a clumsy Irish
dance?

A jig mistake!

 

What does Ireland have more of
than any other country?

Irishmen!

 

Cook l: What do you think of my
Irish stew?

Cook 2: It could use a pinch of
Gaelic.

 

What did one Irish ghost say to
the other?

‘Top o’ the moaning!

 

What’s big and purple and lies
next to Ireland?

Grape Britain!

 

What would you get if you crossed
a leprechaun with a Texan?

A pot of chili at the end of the
rainbow!

 

What would you get if you crossed
a leprechaun with a frog?

A little green man with a croak
of gold!

 

What baseball position do
leprechauns usually play?

Shortstop!

 

What do you get when two leprechauns
have a conversation?

A lot of small talk!

 

What did the leprechaun say to the
elf?

How’s the weather up there?

 

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Warren.

Warren who?

Warren anything green today?

 

Resources for these Jokes

Squiggly’s
Playhouse

The
Examiner

Enchanted
Learning

Primary
Games

Lela
Davidson

 

I hope these made you and your friends laugh!

Gail


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