Halloween Jokes Part 1

 

Halloween Jokes Part 1

 

There are lots of Halloween jokes out there. In fact, I had to make 2 Fridays of them. Here are this week’s jokes. [A repeat from last year.]

 

VAMPIRES

What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
Fang mail

 

Where does a vampire keep his money?
In a blood bank

 

What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A bloodhound

 

Why do vampires scare people?
They are bored to death

 

How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a bat

 

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.

 

What do you give a vampire with a cold?
Coffin Drops!

 

Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?
They would only let him be BAT boy

 

MUMMIES

What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?
Rap music.

 

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

 

What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A crummy mummy

 

What do you call a little monster’s parents
Mummy and Deady

 

Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

 

SKELETONS

What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
The trombone

 

What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A mop (I love this one!)

 

Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts

 

What do skeletons say before they start to eat?
Bone appetite

 

Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
Because he had no body to dance with!

 

Why don’t skeletons play music in church?
They have no organs

 

How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle its funnybone!

 

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Spare ribs

 

WITCHES

What is the problem with twin witches?
You never know which witch is which!

 

What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch

 

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray

 

What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet

 

Why does a witch ride a broom?
The vacuum cleaner’s power is cord it too short

 

What do they teach in witching school?
Spelling

 

Need more Halloween jokes? No problem! Next week, I’ll have a bunch more, this time about vampires, ghosts and knock-knock jokes.
Gail

 

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