Time for Christmas Jokes!

 

Time for Christmas Jokes!

 

What goes “oh, oh, oh”?
Santa walking backwards!

 

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas one has no L (noel)!

 

Why is it always cold at Christmas?
Because it’s in Decemberrrr!

 

What’s impossible to overtake at Christmas?
The three wide men!

 

How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
Only one, after that it’s not empty anymore!

 

What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
Neither, candles always burn shorter!

 

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!

 

What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
Snow!

 

What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A Christmas Quacker.

 

What’s white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
Santa Claus in an elevator!

 

Who gives presents to baby sharks?
Santa Jaws.

 

What’s white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A sad candy cane!

 

How do you know when Santa’s in the room?
You can sense his presents.

 

What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood!

 

What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A list of everything you want!

 

Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
“Holly” wood!

 

A Christmas thought:
STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

 

What do vampires put on their Christmas turkey?
Grave-y.

 

What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!

 

Why wasn’t the turkey hungry at Christmas time?
He was stuffed!

 

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.

 

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitus!

 

What carol is heard in the desert?
Camel ye faithful!

 

What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
Sandy claws!

 

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!

 

What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move?
Santa Pause!

 

What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
Christmas Corals!

 

What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
Santa’s burps!

 

Why was Santa’s helper depressed?
He had low ELF-esteem.

 

Why is Santa so good at karate?
Because he has a black belt!

 

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

 

RESOURCES USED

Activity Village
Squiggly’s Playhouse
Christmas Jokes for Kids
Email Santa
All Things Christmas   

 

I hope you get lots of laughs with these!

Gail

 

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