Laughing Is Good for the Heart
Valentine’s Day Jokes
Do you like to make others laugh? (an admirable trait) Well, here are just the jokes you need! Add them to cards, tell them in school, tell them at the dinner table…just tell them!
What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card?
A card that says, “I love you drool-ly!”
What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
“I love you with all my art!”
What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!
What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
“I’m sweet on you!”
What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche!
“I can’t be your Valentine for medical reasons.”
“Yeah, you make me sick!”
What do you call a very small Valentine’s?
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
I love you a ton!
What did one pickle say to the other?
You mean a great dill to me.
What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
“I’ve got a crutch on you!”
Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.
If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
No, but they had an apple.
What do you call two birds in love?
What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?
It made him wed his plants!
What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
Ughs and kisses!
What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
I’m stuck on you!
What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Rugs and kisses!
What would you get if you crossed Cupid with a meat and vegetable dish?
What did one light bulb say to the other?
I love you a whole watt!
What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Hog and kisses!
Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear?
Because the bear had many fine koala-ties!
What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
You’re fun to hang around with.
What did one calculator say to the other?
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!”
Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pin cushion!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day?
I’m nuts about you!
What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean?
One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.
Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because spleens would look pretty gross!
What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day?
I Love Ewe!
Frank you for being my friend!
Howard you like a big kiss?
Just one more week until Valentine’s Day! I hope you have a great day!!