Elephant Jokes for BIG Laughs

 

Elephant Jokes for BIG Laughs

 

Time for jokes! (Isn’t it always?)

 

How do elephants talk to each other long distance?

On the elephone!

 

What do you do when you find a blue elephant?

Cheer it up!

 

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

 

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away its credit card!

 

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?

Swimming trunks!

 

What’s an elephant’s favorite vegetable?

Squash!

 

What is the biggest ant in the world?

An elephant!

 

What does a doctor give an elephant who’s going to be sick?

Plenty of room!

 

What’s big and grey and protects you from the rain?

An umbrellaphant!

 

What game do you NOT want to play with an elephant?

Squash!

 

What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?

You get out of the way!

 

How do you know if there is an elephant in your refrigerator?

The door won’t shut!

 

How do you know if there’s a elephant in your refrigerator?

Look for footprints in the pizza!

 

What is gray and blue and very big?

An elephant holding its breath!

 

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch?

Time to get a new watch!

 

Why did the elephant wear green sneakers?

Its red ones were in the wash!

 

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck!

 

What goes down but never goes up?

 An elephant in an elevator.

 

What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?

 Time to buy a new chair!

 

There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn’t they get wet?

 It wasn’t raining.

 

 What do a tree and an elephant have in common?

 A trunk.

 

 Why did the elephant stay on the marshmallow?

 Because it didn’t want to fall in the hot cocoa

 

 What’s big, grey and has red spots?

 An elephant with chicken pox!

 

 Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?

 Because if it was small, white, and smooth it would be an aspirin!

 

What do you get when an elephant sky dives?

 A big hole.

 

How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?

 Grapes are purple.

 

 How do you fit four elephants in a red mini?

 Two in the front and two in the back.

 

How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?

 You can hear them talking.

 

 How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge?

 You can’t close the door.

 

Why did the elephant float down the river on its back?

 So it wouldn’t get its tennis shoes wet.

 

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?

 A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

 

 Why do elephants have trunks?

 They’d look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

 

 What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?

 A school bus full of elephants!

 

Why did the elephant wear red tennis shoes?

 To hide in the strawberry patch!

 

What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?

 An elephant that’s dressed up in a banana skin.

 

 How does a elephant get out of a tree?

 He climbs on a leaf and waits till autumn!

 

 Why did the elephant paint its fingernails red?

 So it could hide in a bowl of cherries.

 

Police officer: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.

Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.  

 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, “You need to take the elephant to the zoo.” So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, “I told you to take the elephant to the zoo.”

The guy says, “I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game.”     

 

 

Resources

Sqigley’s Playhouse
Enchanted Learning

 

Elephants can be very funny!

Gail

 

 

 

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