Keep the Laughs Coming with Back to School Jokes

Keep the Laughs Coming with Back to School Jokes

 

I know we had jokes just last week, but you can never have too many, right?
 
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
B-4!
B-4 who?
B-4 you go to school, do your homework!
 
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to go to school today?
 
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
B-2 !
B-2 who?
B-2 school on time!
 
How did you find school today?
I simply hopped off the bus – and there it was.
 
Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?
She couldn’t control her pupils!
 
What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?
Geometry
 
Kid: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do.
Mom: What was that?
Kid: My homework!
 
What school supply is always tired?
A knapsack!
 
What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
A teacher says, “Spit out that gum” a steam train says, “Chew chew!”
 
What is white when it’s dirty and black when its clean?
A blackboard!
 
Kid: I think we need a new teacher.
Mom: Why is that?
Kid: Our teacher doesn’t know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers.
 
Mom: What did you learn today?
Kid: Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.
 
Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet.
Pupil: But these are the only feet I’ve got!
 
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “t”.
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
 
Teacher: James, where is your homework?
Pupil: I ate it.
Teacher: Why?
Pupil: You said it was a piece of cake!
 
Teacher: Why is your homework in your father’s handwriting?
Pupil: I used his pen!
 
Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school.
Pupil: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.
 
Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Pupil: I’m paying as little attention as I can.
 
Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?
Pupil: I get up early!
 
What would happen if you took the school bus home ?
The police would make you bring it back!
 
Mother: Does your teacher like you?
Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X’s on my test paper!
 
What are you going to be when you get out of school?
An old man!
 
Mother: What did you learn in school today?
Son: How to write.
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don’t know. They haven’t taught us how to read yet!
 
What’s yellow, has wheels and lies on its back?
A dead school bus!
 
How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!
 
What is the first thing a little snake learns in school?
Hiss tory.
 
What is the first thing a little gorilla learns in school?
The Ape B C’s.
 
What do little astronauts get when they do their homework?
Gold stars.
 
Why did the little vampires stay up all night?
They were studying for a blood test.
 
Where do monsters study?
In ghoul school.
 
Who sits in front of the class in ghoul school?
The creature teacher.
 
Teacher: Name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Student: Me!
 
RESOURCES
School Jokes
SurfNetKids 
 

Time to laugh!

Gail             

                                                   

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